Boats and Birds
by Lacewings
Summary: -Just leave me your wake to remember you by- Draco Malfoy / Luna Lovegood


**Boats and Birds  
**

_If you be my boat  
I'll be your sea  
A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity  
Ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze  
I live to make you free  
I live to make you free_

_But you can set sail to the west if you want to  
And past the horizon till I can't even see you  
Far from here where the beaches are wide  
Just leave me your wake to remember you by_

-Boats and Birds, Gregory and the Hawk

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_DracoxLuna_

Draco Malfoy closes his eyes and waits. Waits for the sadness, the complete and utter grief.

But it doesn't come.

It doesn't come when he looks over at the photo of them, which had fallen to the floor when he had punched the wall. It's a beautiful photo, her blonde hair catches the light perfectly, and for the first time since the Battle of Hogwarts, he looks healthy.

It doesn't come when he holds her hairbrush, which she had left behind in her hasty packing. It's engraved with her name, _Luna_, and still has bits of her hair in it. Her lovely, lovely hair. He remembers how it looked when he first saw her that night in June about a year ago – pulled into two buns at either side of her head. The bizarreness of it made him chuckle, everything about her made him happy.

It doesn't come when he remembers the day of his trial. He was found not guilty, but Draco felt so, so guilty. He remembers coming home to Luna's shining face, telling him that he was going to be alright, that his soul was a good one. He remembers believing it.

It doesn't come when he remembers the time they made brownies. Neither of them had used a mixer before, there was little cooking in the Malfoy household growing up, and batter got everywhere, in their hair, their clothes, and all over the floor. He remembers the laughter, the hysterical laughter. It was the first time he had ever laughed that hard, but it was one of many times with Luna. He remembers the bubble bath they took together afterward.

It doesn't come when he remembers the day she got that job. He had been pushing her to get a job for months, to go out into the real world and interact with other people. He remembers when she came home from her first day of work, she was so excited. He remembers all the creatures he told her about, all the books she read aloud to him. Her voice was like music, light and soft and airy. She was his kite lady, and he had to hold on to her, lest she be blown away by the smallest gust of wind. But when she came back from work that day, she was strong enough to withstand any storm.

It doesn't come when he remembers the New Year's Eve party. She had taken him out to a party held by one of her friends from the animal studies conservatory. He remembers how her silver dress hugged her curves; he remembers how Rolf Scamander, one of her co-workers, also noticed.

It doesn't come when he remembers the day she bought lipstick. He knows it doesn't sound like a big deal, but Luna hadn't bought anything for herself besides food since she and Draco had moved in together. He remembers the shade of it, a bold crimson red, and the light pink box it came in. He remembers how it looked on her lips, contrasting darkly with her white teeth.

It doesn't come when he remembers the first night they made love. They were both so shattered, such broken little people. She was even more fragile than him. He remembers her tears, her nightmares, her shakes and seizures. He remembers fixing her, like a puzzle, piece by piece by piece. He remembers how much better he felt when she smiled, how in return for fixing her, she fixed him.

He breathes heavily, oh how he wants the sadness to come.

He punches the wall for the second time tonight, sick and tired of _waiting _for the sorrow and the tears.

He gives up and collapses on the bed, and replays her parting words.

"_Draco, I can't stay anymore. It's not you, it's me!" She smacked her head. "I can't believe how clichéd that sounded."_

_Draco snorted. Luna is _anything _but clichéd. _

"_It's just… there's nothing keeping me here." _

_Draco still said nothing. _

"_I'm better now, Draco. You've _made _me better. I shine because of you, I'm free because of you, every morning I can pull myself out of bed because of you. I have a life to live now, you see, don't you?" _

_His silence was maddening her, but right before she was about to snap, he found his voice. "I love you, you know. I always will."_

_Her face softened, and she stroked the side of his face. "I love you too, but I can't stay here any longer. I've been hiding here for too long, I have to go out there and find my voice, find my Crumple-Horned Snorkack." _

_Pulling him towards her, she gave him one final kiss before pulling away. She tasted of something unfamiliar. _

_She swung her bag over her shoulder, and reached for her book on the bedside table. It was 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' – the book Luna read to him almost every night. _

"_Please," he said, the pleading tone in his voice almost enough to break Luna's heart all over again. "Leave the book. Please."_

_She nodded and complied, then walked to the front door of their flat and left, her beautiful hair flowing behind her. _

The scene plays before him again and again, the way her pale blue eyes looked, so remorseful yet so alive and determined, and how her arms cradled his neck as her crimson lips as they pressed against his, and the manner her small body walked with so much purpose to the door. How different she was from the girl he first met, still beautiful and still extraordinary, but so different.

Releasing the pale blue sheets from his fists, he pulls himself up and walks about the room, collecting everything that she had left behind and dumping them on the bed. Her book, the photo of them, her canister of lipstick, her hairbrush.

Tilting his head to each side, Draco examines these objects, these bits and pieces that are all that's left of her, staring and staring but not _seeing_, not seeing until he forgets what he was looking for in the first place.

He's been fixed, and the hole in his heart that was filled by her had been replaced with something more substantial. He's not sad because he always knew that Luna would eventually leave. She was never supposed to be with him in the first place, but he held onto her because neither of them could stand without one another. Luna was his boat, his bird. But like all boats and birds, he had to let her free.

Draco scoops up the belongings she left in her wake and puts them in a drawer. He doesn't have the heart to get rid of them – not yet, not when they're all he has to remember her by.

He rubs his weary eyes and cleans the flat from the carnage of the night, finding solace in the quiet task. Throwing open the curtain, the bright light of the new morning blinds him, but he keeps his eyes wide open. It is morning, and there is so much to see.

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**A.N. **- I hope you like it, I know it's short, but Draco/Luna fics always an fascinate me, I wish people would write some more.

This is a kind of not really songfic, more like a one-shot inspired by a song. The song in Boats and Birds, by Greogry and the Hawk, and I strongly advise you go listen to it.

Visit my profile on to see the rest of my stories, by author name is Lacewings, just like it is here.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!


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